It can sound like a cliché to say you shouldn't take things personally.

Easier said than done.

But what if what you are experiencing is never personal, never ever about you and cannot affect you, unless you let it?

In relationships, whether they are in our professional or private lives, it can really look like the other person is doing something 'to' us.

When we take something personally we give all the power to someone else. We, innocently and often unknowingly, believe that their behaviour is about us and therefore we let it affect us. This creates a reaction inside of us, we feel outraged, stressed, anxious, diminished, put upon... and because we feel those things, it looks and feels like that person's actions and our discomfort are linked.

This can create a confirmation loop where this perceived link creates a feeling of 'I'm right' in us, and because of this we feel more strongly, which makes it look even more like we must be right and that they are doing something to us.

But they aren't and they can't.

Everyone's behaviour is a result of their thinking. So whatever they are doing, makes sense to them. And often that thinking creates suffering in them which is why they are acting out.

So if that's true for them, and that's true for you, how can the way you feel be related to what they're thinking? Their thoughts simply don't have that power over you, they can't do.

And when you see that, you can see their behaviour for what it is, even if it is unpleasant or inappropriate, and then, because you aren't creating a melodrama in your mind that their behaviour is about you, you can get on with working out what needs to be done to move things on.