Don’t Take It Personally…
..because it’s never personal.
Which means you can't take the credit or be too outraged by things!
It certainly looks personal to me from time to time. Take the builder messing me about on a project, or the client who isn't responding to a proposal; their actions seem directed at me, their behaviour seems like a personal affront. But if we look at the mechanics of how the human mind really works we see that they are doing what makes sense to them in the moment, they're being the hero of their own movie and I'm the bit player, not the other way round. Why? Our very finely honed threat detection system puts us at the centre of the action and makes it look like it matters what others think of us. This 'illusion' leads to a deep pool of unnecessary thinking, the feelings that come with those thoughts and potentially the experience of suffering.
And the implication of that? We spend our energy worrying about, and potentially trying to defend, our ego/personality and control others' perceptions of us, even though that isn't within our control.
Instead we could be getting on with the actions we can take, solving the real business problems and enjoying life without being outraged with it.
The impersonal nature of the design works both ways... I’ve realised that creativity is not personal either! ‘I’ don’t exist in the way that I used to think. The thing doing the creating, running the human system is not ‘me’ but a deeper intelligence that is responsive in the moment. My creativity is a series of insights where I let go of my habitual way of thinking and intellect and have some fresh thoughts instead. Getting in my own way is a great way to interfere with this infinite resource of wisdom and insight. Getting ‘me’/my ego, out of the way reveals a world of effortless performance, a river of flow, dwelling in the zone, unaware of time passing, unaware of myself, simply going with the natural flow of creativity and insight.
Many artists and musicians describe this experience. Last June I heard Paul Simon talking about how he wrote Bridge Over Troubled Water in this state of mind and then looking over what had been produced though to himself ‘Well that looks better that your usual stuff’
Getting out of our own way, getting over ourselves, leaning on the deep impersonal intelligence that’s running the universe is natural, fun, enlightening and deeply rewarding. It enables us to move on more swiftly from the insults and judgments of others. It opens up a universe of possibilities. It reveals our true nature.
Take a look, notice, en-joy the joy.