We've been exploring the difference between self-acceptance and self-obsession. 

Here's what we've noticed.

One gives us a steady foundation to live life from where we can discern reality from the narratives our mind creates. The other means we put all of our attention on the wrong variable (our identity), and are at its mercy.

To love ourself, for who we are, we have to be prepared to observe ourself with compassion and accept what we see.

When we see ourself without our eyes of judgement, we stop trying to be who we aren't by filling in the gaps and papering over the defects, and instead recognise all of our facets.

We are free to change and adapt knowing that's part of who we are.

When we realise there's nothing to fix; just a human being with light and shade, who shows up differently at different times, who sometimes carries around some old thinking and habits that used to be helpful but aren't any more and has the potential to adjust to their surroundings, we go a lot easier on ourselves.

If we think that we are a problem, and that it's our job to resolve that problem, we end up with more thinking about ourself. Our bandwidth is taken up with our self appraisal and strategies to deal with, or compensate for, ourselves.

When we aren't consumed by a battle to fix, judge or improve ourselves, it frees up our mind to deal with the real issues and challenges of life.

And all of this stems from a relationship with yourself that is compassionate, or dare we say, loving.

"If your compassion does not include yourself it is not complete"
The Buddha